The Highlight of My Week

This month I began volunteering as a mentor as a part of Everybody Wins! DC's Power Lunch Program. Once a week I spend an hour at Thomson Elementary School reading, chatting and usually laughing with a teeny third grade boy. The program focuses on children who are struggling with reading and/or need a little extra attention.

When I enrolled, as I usually do, I immediately froze with anxiety -- what if I am not a good mentor? What if we have nothing to talk about? What if I actually make him HATE reading? What if he hates me? And on and on. 

I was nervous that the poor little dude would sit and twiddle his thumbs and count down the minutes until he was rid of me. And then there was the no cell phone policy -- no BlackBerry for 60 minutes. How could I possibly be unplugged from work?! The world may just implode!

In the first five minutes of meeting my mentee, I realized I was already looking forward to the next week and the week after that and planning the books we would read and how I need this program just as much he does. For one hour each week, I care nothing about the outside world and only about this little boy and what exactly is going on in his tiny world. We are making progress on his reading and learning the meaning of words such, "expert" and "remedy," and like I mentioned -- laughing a lot.

Everybody Wins! DC has been nominated for a CLASSY Award and if the program wins, it will receive a grant of $10,000. If you have an extra minute, please go online and vote for EW DC and help build this phenomenal charity. Voting ends tomorrow and your support means the world to me and countless children across the District.

Click HERE to learn more about Everybody Wins! DC

Click HERE to vote

Happy First Birthday!

Attempted Domestication turns one today! 
And oh what a year it has been...
Full of changes, cooking, moving, snow, pets, hair cuts, vacations, family and friends. And they never ending epidemic of terrible style cursing the world...
Here's to another year of nonsensical blogging!

The Sun is Shining

I swear to you all, I just clicked on my Gmail tab as sunlight flooded my office to see I had a CNN update worth worthy of mountain top shouting. It may sound insignificant, because the content of these so called "breaking news" emails has ranged from sports victories to a runaway foil balloon supposedly carrying a child to devastation of entire countries. But I think the minute this news actually happened, the clouds even clocked out early early to celebrate the cusp of returning humanity....

-- Pentagon tells recruiters they can accept openly gay and lesbian recruits, following "don't ask, don't tell" court ruling

Since I never understood the purpose of asking -- or not asking, but if you find out -- anyone about their sexual habits in common conversation and thus world away from the realm of appropriateness in a professional setting, I see this as a come to Jesus moment for our lawmakers. A sort of, "ohhhhhhhhhh, this actually makes zero sense."

I really don't see how the bridge was built connecting someone's capabilities of serving their country and their sexuality. Why would the private behaviors of homosexual soldiers come into question and not that of heterosexual couples? They signed up to serve our country, put us all before themselves and we are questioning what they do in the bedroom? Why is John allowed hang photos in his tent of his spouse Christina, but another John cannot hang a photo of his spouse, Christopher?

I really cannot understand the mere existence of this law, so quite frankly it's dismembering is a big DUH to me. Try and reason it out; seriously, try and explain the sheer purpose of "Don't ask, don't tell." Bigotry and ignorance aside...still trying to think of something? Me too.

It's 2010, folks. And late in the year at that. Treating any citizen as second class is simply unacceptable.

Let's toast to today and the sweet sound of equal rights marching toward us.

This image says it all.

30 Things Every Woman Should Quit Doing By 30

Riffling through my Gmail folders this morning, I came across an email I had squirreled away for safekeeping that is begging to be shared. Halfway through my roaring twenties, now, thirty seems a lot closer than my anxiety is prepared to handle and I find this list of post-30 no no's quite spectacular. However, my personal code of rules and conduct categorize many of these behaviors are unacceptable beyond receiving your college diploma. Take a look and see what you think....

After the jump, 30 things every women should stop doing once she turns 30.
  1. Buying clothes from the junior section.
  2. Forgetting her parents’ birthdays.
  3. Making out with her BFFs at bars for attention.
  4. Making out with her boyfriend at bars for attention.
  5. Filling her bed with stuffed animals (really, even one is too many).
  6. Carrying a torch for anyone she hasn’t seen in the last five years.
  7. Rebelling against her parents for the sake of rebelling against her parents.
  8. Declaring an entire gender “all jerks.”
  9. Holding a grudge against anyone who wronged her in high school.
  10. Skipping regular gyno exams.
  11. Going to bed without washing and moisturizing her face.
  12. Being “that person” who had a bit too much to drink at the office party.
  13. Crushing on Justin Bieber.
  14. Thinking she’s got it all figured out.
  15. Calling her father “daddy.”
  16. Engaging in sibling rivalry.
  17. Trying to get by on her looks.
  18. Living paycheck to paycheck.
  19. Expecting a man/knight in shining armor to swoop in and save her.
  20. Aimlessly jumping from job to job.
  21. Using MySpace to pick up guys.
  22. Expecting a man to do all the wooing.
  23. Wishing she had someone else’s life.
  24. Expecting everyone to drop everything because it’s her birthday ...
  25. ... or because her “boyfriend” of two weeks dumped her.
  26. Measuring her self-worth by a number on the scale.
  27. Being cheap.
  28. Quitting a job without having a new one lined up first (especially in this economy!).
  29. Blaming her mother for all her issues.
  30. Romanticizing her 20s.

In Honor of the Upcoming Holiday

The eve of all hollows is just around the corner, so in lieu of regaling you all with the details of my costume -- which I will in a later post -- I would like to share this photo of the most horrifying creature I have even seen in person. Only because I have never seen Marilyn Manson in person, because that hideous freak show would certainly take the cake in that category.

As my tale telling usually goes, there is a back story that goes along with it. Now let's set the scene...

Dusty and I were sitting outside of our local watering hole, as we usually are in the after hours, enjoying our favorite food and drinks. I think the conversation wandered slightly in the direction of unions and their necessity at this day in age, and was quickly switched to avoid an inevitable argument. We were admiring the motley collection of passersby as is per usual with the crowd that Penn Quarter draws, when she/he/it turned the corner across the street and just like the Dementors in Harry Potter, I felt a chill pass over me.


For real, though -- what is that, that, that...thing?

At first glimpse I thought it was some sort of strung out drug dealer, preparing its batch, but then the creature slung an Ann Taylor Loft bag over it's hunched shoulder. I could be wrong but I don't imagine that store is a magnet for, well, crack heads.

The monster figure was sort of dressed like a gypsy hooker -- nothing matching and flowy, but dark and short, paired with insanely high  heels. And that creepy hood! I can't even explain where it came from; it was like it grew out of its skin, another appendage of sorts. Like a kangaroo pouch for its head. Oh, gross.

I don't know what we saw that day, but I'm certain we were staring in the face of death. That grim reaperish thing had come to steal our souls and we were spared. It was probably because we were hiding behind the bush by our table (if you can't tell from they hubs' photography). Now that is a really life Halloween story.

To Vie For

There is a new "daily deal website" that I have been meaning to share: ToVieFor. The site's motto is similar to that of my life...

Part game. 
Part shopping.

It just doesn't get much better than that, does it? Here is the gist -- you buy credits to enter a sale which is one bag at a time. Each time a person enters a sale, the price of the bag drops. At any point in time you can purchase, but choose your strategy wisely. You may want to hold out for a better price, but not too, long  because the inventory is limited and you may miss out all together.

Oh, and did I mention that these bags are all this season? Yes, you heard me correctly -- this season's designer handbags at a fraction of the price.

I don't want to brag....wait, who am I kidding? YES I DO! I am the winner of this Marc Jacobs bag. Me! Ya'll know free things make my heart pitter patter, but a free handbag? That might send me into happy induced cardiac arrest.

This video explains it all. Take a look and head to the Website. I'm sure I'll see you there.

Some People...

We have yet to make real friends in our condo building. Actually I try to avoid even riding the elevator with other dwellers; I have gone so far as to check our mailbox for a third time in one day and "forget" something and have to go back to our apartment. And it is mostly due to the ridiculous emails that circulate through the building's Yahoo group. Not to say that everyone in our building is heinous; I'm sure some of them are great. However, the lack of consciousness and drafty hallways in the brains of these idiots, who email the entire building like we are extended family, has really turned me off.

I am aware I can be snotty and even more aware that sometimes I vocalize my internalizations purely on accident. Thus, I wrote my judgments off as my inner jerk being too audacious. However an email I received last night, along with the rest of the building, made me think again.

Re: McDonalds

I don't mean to sound insensitive. However did anyone notice what has been going on in front of McDonald's the last couple of days? Today there was literally 4 people sitting outside with their they were living out there. And no it wasn't tourists. Can we ask McDonald's management to be more proactive in asking the panhandlers/loiterer's to leave? I feel uncomfortable everyday being asked for money every time I walk home or drive in or out of our garage door. I feel like I am being asked to pay a toll. 

I just feel like the issue is getting worse and McDonald's isn't doing anything about it. 

This is what I would like to say back, but will not because clearly these people are too far gone from reality to care.

RE: Re: McDonalds

Don't worry, you don't sound insensitive; a whining asshole and heartless is closer to an accurate description. Are these people hurting you in anyway, while you drive past them in your European luxury vehicle or when you are stomping past in your Burberry trench on your way into the comfort and warmth of your $500,000 condo? 

How awful it must be to feel so uncomfortable.

Get a grip. You live in a condo building downtown Washington, D.C., if you can't handle this, move to the suburbs so you can have a yard. I'm quite certain McDonald's isn't worried about their business plummeting, but good try. Simply moving these people -- which, I'm not sure you noticed, they are people -- to another sidewalk isn't going to alleviate the problem. But, I'm sure out of site, they will be out of your mind.

Open your eyes and count your blessings, jerk. And if you are so concerned, perhaps call the nearest homeless shelter and see if they are at capacity.

Your neighbor,

On second thought, perhaps I will send this.

I Come Bearing Good News

The latest and greatest from J Crew is about to decrease the productivity of your Friday workday and make the weekend all the more sweeter. Miss vintage herself, Jayme Lee, shared the good news with me a couple of weeks ago, but in case it was just a vicious rumor, I didn't want to get all ya'lls hopes up. 

However, in its third week now, I feel comfortable sharing the good word.

J Crew Factory Store is now online Friday through Sunday. It's true, I swear to you. You know I would never lie about something as close to my heart as this. 

It's throw back time to the days when J Crew was entirely affordable the pages reeked of dress code appropriate attire. Ah the days when the catalog dropped into our mailboxes and it caused such a ruckus the librarian banned it from his territory. Yes, you can have that silk top, the cashmere scarf, and the crystal earrings too. Why not?

And no, the nearest store is not programmed into my GPS as home. Yet. Bookmarking the site and setting a reoccurring reminder on my Outlook calender is an entirely different story, though.

So feast your eyes, ladies and gents -- J Crew Factory. It will make you believe again that there is good left in this world.